SydLexia.com - The Forums :: View topic

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

CRACKED.com that is. I was an unsuspected internet browser like anyone else until i clicked on a link at the sydlexian forms and now i am addicted to the Cracked. Being an addict of popular culture, this immediately appealed to me.

I have spent the last week spending hours on this site, although i will admit i don't agree with some of their choices:

"A top 10 cowbell article with no Don't fear the reaper? WTF"

but at the end i know it's all in good fun . I don;t even know were to being, i enjoyed the "5 Upcoming Comic Book Movies That Must Be Stopped" article very much for i cannot even image any of the 5 listed in a movie, even by comic book movie standards. But i think it was the "10 Most Awesome Movies Hollywood Ever Killed" that I have enjoyed the most and i'll give you three words way:

"Ghostbusters in Hell . . ." That would have been awesome.

And I'm not even done reading the entire website yet, i just found more to read. In fact i am about to read "The 10 Best Animated Movies for (Traumatizing) Kids" and my guess is that it will be dominated by the works of Don Bluth.

If you wish to get down with the sickness:

http://www.cracked.com/

And for those of you who are already hooked, any thoughts and favorite articles?

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

http://www.cracked.com/article_15070_10-best-animated-movies-traumatizing-kids.html

What . . . the . . . shit? Not one Don Bluth. NOT one! I agree with some of there choices, like Watership Down and some of the Disney Movies but come on, one Don Bluth film would suffice, like the land before time or an American tale. I was surprised with the number of Pixar films too. Oh well, it is a humor article but i would have loved for them to point out that the Great Owl's twisting head would give kids nightmares.

I haven't see Watership down (and if i have, i don;t remember it) but the animation looks like the classic American Animation that has died with the 1980s. Seriously? Look at Cars and the Incredibles (or even Lion king or Hunchback) then look at Watership Down. In fact, I have caught a few episodes of the WD series on cable (then i didn't know it but thanks to wiki, now i know) and even that has been dramatically changed in animation. Anime is the last form of animation that even comes close to the old school animation America use to procreate.

edit: My apologetics, apparently watership down is british animation not american. Still, it does look like old school animation that america use to do.

Posted: Nov 25 2007 07:00 pm

I'm addicted too. I liked the "5 ways a zombie apocalypse could happen" and the "urban legends that are true" articles.

Posted: Nov 25 2007 07:39 pm

Yeah, it's damn good site.

Fun fact: Though it now only exists in an format online, Cracked was originally a magazine and was MAD's longest running competitor.

Posted: Nov 25 2007 09:49 pm

Yeah, my favorite article has to be "The 7(?) Best Video Games of 2010".

Posted: Nov 26 2007 02:20 am

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE "The Hunchback of Notre Dame" because it's so screwed up and dark; glad to see it included on their list. It's not so much a Disney musical as it is a regular Broadway show. Plus, the rape/murder song, "Hellfire", is damn awesome.

Don Bluth does rule and at least one of his films should've made the list, NIMH for sure. That film is all kinds of screwed up.

Posted: Nov 26 2007 03:03 am

Man, I used to read Cracked all the time as a kid. Good stuff. Mr. Green

Posted: Nov 26 2007 01:39 pm

I really love Cracked, too. My favorite articles, I think, are the Five Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse could Happen and the Ultimate War Simulation. The Worst Fantasy and SciFi Book Covers were pretty funny too.

I have to say though, the comments on Cracked articles are rivaling the ones on Youtube for sheer hatefulness and aggression. There was one little advertisement that said that Cracked would pay you if you send in a good, funny article, and one of the comments was "You guys seriously need this. It's going downhill fast." And then there are the comments that turn anything that could possibly sort of maybe have a chance to become a political or religious debate. It's irritating for me, but I can see how it's kind of like a train wreck so some people might like to watch from the sidelines.

Posted: Nov 26 2007 05:51 pm

No one disses Greg Berlanti!

Cracked.com is dead to me now. Evil

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

Tebor wrote:

No one disses Greg Berlanti!

Cracked.com is dead to me now. Evil

CRACKED says: wrote:

Why Fanboys Will Be Disappointed:

The studio, however, had a different idea. They hired a man named Greg Berlanti to write and direct the film. Name sound familiar? No, it doesn't. Don't lie to the Internet. Berlanti thus far has directed one movie: The Broken Hearts Club, a romantic comedy about a group of young, hip friends with relationship troubles whose tagline is "The shortest distance between friends isn't always a straight line."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Broken_Hearts_Club

His previous writing credits include Dawson's Creek and Everwood, two teen dramas that we assume are notorious for their epic super-powered battle scenes. Based on these credentials, expect the new Green Lantern film to imagine up some slightly-larger-than-usual vanilla lattes and tickets to the Plain White T's concert in order to impress his high school sweetheart, Dakota, after which he will most likely imagine an awkward handjob in the back of a Toyota Celica.

As long as Greg does better with the effects (and Green Lantern's outfit) then the JLA clip they showed:

It might turn out to be as manly as Chuck Norris's thumb and as action pack as the credits to an Arnie flick. However, remember the Hulk:

http://www.cracked.com/article_15665_7-least-faithful-comic-book-movies.html

I'm sorry, but i tried to make the best of the Hulk movie after seeing it but even my lies turned green, ripping their shirt and beat me senseless. The thing with Hulk is it trys to be emotional like most of the director's movies however we are talking about a green giant that likes to smash shit. The movie needed someone who loves sex and violences like Michael Bay or even (dare i say) Uwe Boll. It wouldn't be a masterpiece, but still it would be awesome none the less because it would mirror the hulk, senseless and destructive.

Now with director Greg Berlanti's resume, the GL movie does have potential effects wise (since he never work with effects before, he may experiment and we may see something fresh and new) but he may have a tendency to turn a comic book movie into an emotional quest of self discovery and meaning. I'm not saying the movie shouldn't have that premise however it really shouldn't be the focus of the movie either. And loading the movie up with effects is just a cop out IMO and many movies have turned me off of the silver screen because of it.

I have concluded that most comicbook movie have (or always have) gone the road of the videogame movie: Doomed to be craptastic even before they reach the producer's desk, irregardless of who is making it.

"Special Pooch 4 da win!!1!"

BTW, how the heck do you change a link to text?

Posted: Nov 26 2007 07:33 pm

( equals [ for this.

(url=www.example.com)Words I want to say(/url)

Somebody explained this to me a year ago when I asked, and I think it was Black Zarak. Gratitude goes to him.

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

Char Aznable wrote:

( equals [ for this.

(url=www.example.com)Words I want to say(/url)

Somebody explained this to me a year ago when I asked, and I think it was Black Zarak. Gratitude goes to him.

THANK YOU!

Posted: Nov 26 2007 09:01 pm

Ho ho! Thank you!

Posted: Nov 27 2007 03:11 am

ReeperTheSeeker wrote:

Now with director Greg Berlanti's resume, the GL movie does have potential effects wise (since he never work with effects before, he may experiment and we may see something fresh and new) but he may have a tendency to turn a comic book movie into an emotional quest of self discovery and meaning. I'm not saying the movie shouldn't have that premise however it really shouldn't be the focus of the movie either. And loading the movie up with effects is just a cop out IMO and many movies have turned me off of the silver screen because of it.

First, that article is completely misleading as Greg is the exec producer of numerous shows which means he's involved in production more than a director. Second, I already praised Berlanti for working on superhero-ish show "Eli Stone" which I got to 'test audience' a couple of episodes of. While it wasn't a superhero flying through buildings there were lots of well done effects and no teen angst. And anyone who watched "Everwood" knows Berlanti LOVES comic books. Rolling Eyes

I guess this wouldn't have bothered me as much if I hadn't talked to one of my collaborators yesterday about how excited we were Berlanti was doing Green Lantern. I'm not really a GL fan, but my friend is a HUGE fan. There was no other news that could've blown his mind as much as that announcement. I was excited just because I really respect Berlanti. I never watched "Dawson's Creek", but I do watch the other shows Berlanti's worked on. I've also watched and read several interviews he's done. In the TV world, Berlanti is seriously one of my favorite individuals... Strike that, in the whole human race, Berlanti is someone I most admire (there's a few specific reasons why but that's not worth discussing here).

Anyway, I trust Berlanti; I love Berlanti, and my Green Lantern fan friend loves him too. While my post was not really targeted at Cracked.com (as I kept reading articles after posting that), I was upset that he was being dismissed on the basis of incomplete information. I have a feeling there's a few other fanboys out there who would dismiss him for bullshit reasons like Dawson's; I guess I was upset at that.

Edit: And "Everwood" gave us Veronica Mars in a cheerleader outfit. Wink

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Posted: Nov 29 2007 01:01 am

I lol'd at this article:
9 most badass bible verses

Posted: Nov 29 2007 03:43 pm

Good old dirty bible.

Except they totally skipped over Judges 19... Which wasn't so much badass as it did just condone treating women like bargaining meat.

Quote:

From the Book of Judges Chapter 19, 22:

They were enjoying themselves when all of a sudden some sexual perverts from the town surrounded the house and started beating on the door. They said to the old man, "Bring out that man that came home with you! We want to have sex with him!"

From the Book of Judges Chapter 19, 24-25:

Look! Here is his concubine and my own virgin daughter. I'll bring them out now, and you can have them. Do whatever you want to with them. But don't do such an awful thing to this man!" But the men would not listen to him. So the Levite took his concubine and put her outside with them. They raped her and abused her all night long and didn't stop until morning.

From the Book of Judges Chapter 19, 29:

When he arrived, he went in the house and got a knife. He took his concubine's body, cut it into twelve pieces, and sent one piece to each of the twelve tribes of Israel.

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

REBORN THE FORUM!!!!

Since this thread is already made and i want to talk about more CRACKED, I thought i lay this magic card down and bring back the CRACKED forum to the battle field.

The 15 Best Songs That Are Totally About Masturbation

Okay, this is the first article in a while i found to be very accurate and have no beef with . . . nor do i want any. The biggest thing I want to point out is the auther's comment on Tori Amos, which may not be too far off thanks to this pic i found at her wikipeda article:

The 6 Most Disappointing Video Game End Bosses

Poor f*ckin Bowser, what has he been reduced to? He lies to his son saying "yah Peach is your mommy" then after getting both their ass kick, he goes on to say "yah, remember what i said before about her being your mom, that was total BS" Sunshine has proven that even a career villain should retire after so many defeats. I mean, Mario is armed with a freaking squirt gun. No fireballs, no hammers, no fancy athletic moves, a freaking water cannon and Bowser still gets beat. "Get Shine" my ass!!!!

The 7 Most Gruesome Rock 'N' Roll Legends (And Whether They

Okay, the entire article is disturbing but I think the most disturbing part is the article has a subtle but apparent reference to a Simpson’s character. I mean, who would have thought that the groupie-in-question from Led Zeppelin would one day give birth to Troy McClure . . . I miss Phil.

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

Okay . . . wow . . . ummmm . . . one article has given me a mental image . . . one that is both hilarious, Bizaro-like and uber-disturbing.

The 6 Most Overhyped Technologies

#2.The Internet on your TV:

"Mom sitting there and watching while Dad navigates through his favorite sports blogs would be torture for both. Mom, because she probably doesn't care about his sports and Dad, because he has to now pretend he uses the Internet to read about sports and not anime porn."

You know, it will be the most insane moment in any man's life, possible more insane then being in the Twilight zone, when you caught your old man watching freaking Black Bible.

Posted: Dec 21 2007 10:21 pm

It's Bible Black. God, that was scarring. I've got some fucked up friends.

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

Char Aznable wrote:

It's Bible Black. God, that was scarring. I've got some fucked up friends.

I'm only aware of it as a hentai but never seen it . . . but you have . . . Shocked

you poor soul. Doesn't one of the chicks sound like betty white and ask the main character to give it to her from behind? Oh god, the fact that i know that makes me a poor soul too Twisted Evil

Posted: Dec 21 2007 10:31 pm

Yeah, it's freaky.

Joined: Aug 26 2007 Posts: 2752

Now i know i've posted links to cracked.com before but . . . this one was too hardcore to pass up and possible my new favorite article by cracked yet:

http://www.cracked.com/article_15816_5-most-horrifying-bugs-in-world.html

Shocked

That's why it's advised not to f*ck with mother nature . . .

Posted: Jan 19 2008 12:20 am

I read it. I thought the bug-removing video wasn't that gross. Still, remind me to never go to Japan or South America. Sheesh...

Posted: Jan 19 2008 01:34 am

Jesus Fucking Christ, I HATE those maggots! I'm so fucking terrified of those things, I hate maggots anyway, but the thought of having one wriggling around eating my flesh... And feeling the thing fucking MOVING under your skin and knowing it's a big fat maggot... . I'd flip the hell out immediately and probably try to dig the fucker out myself. Guh...

Posted: Jan 19 2008 02:53 am

aaaaAAAWWW FUCK, I hate bees, wasps and anything buzzing with stripes. Shit, a hornet that big should NOT be allowed to exist.