| Fuck Liefeld, Give Me Che wrote: |
My favorite retro system is the NES, but I would never be insane enough to beat everything. I pity the man who has to slog through unplayablr shit like these:
Rambo: Impossible to navigate, fight enemies or do anything. Endless confusion and frustration.
Beetlejuice: An interesting style, but the game is a confusing mess that has nonsensical puzzles, dangerous objets that cannot be distinguished from the background, terrible control.
Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest: Turn a classic action series into a boring, frustrating, ridiculously obtuse puzzles
Castlequest: Horrible combat, entirely possible to fuck yourself over five minutes into the game and get permanently stuck.
Castelian: An experiment in blind luck in doging invisible death traps.
Doctor Jekyll and Mr. Hyde: You move at a slow crawl and everything else is really fast. |
I agree with your sentiments on all of these excluding Castlevania 2. I went ahead and went through Wikipedia's list of NES games, and the ones I think are truly the worst are:
The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle (glitchy, nonsense platformer)
Alien 3 (I had some fun with this game as a kid but it's ball-shatteringly hard and I've never been able to make it past the second level)
Athena (see above)
Back to the Future II & III (I actually think this is worse than the original game, a boring platformer with counter-intuitive puzzles that don't make any sense)
Simpsons: Bart vs. whatever (all three games are horrid)
Beetlejuice (horrible, horrible platformer)
Captain Planet & the Planeteers (insufferably hard)
Castlequest (unwinnable states, music makes me want to die, bad controls)
Day Dreamin' Davey (extremely difficult Zelda clone with god-awful controls and collision detection)
Defenders of Dynatron City (boring beat-em-up with horrible hit detection)
Dick Tracy (lol)
Double Dragon III (it would be easier to just set myself on fire than make it past the first stage of this game)
Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde (I don't have much to say that hasn't been said already)
Golgo 13 (I remember this game being obscenely hard as a kid and as an adult I find it obscenely boring)
Hydlide (not much I can say that hasn't already been said)
Raid 2020 (possibly the worst controls of any game ever, you move at a weird 30 degree angle when you press up and down)
Rocket Ranger (I don't see a lot of people discuss this one but it's a turn-based strategy game with shooting minigames that is basically impossible to beat without an emulator because of how difficult the strategy segments are)
Silver Surfer (I'm not a fan of AVGN because of the dumb poop jokes but his video is spot-on)
Tiger-Heli (easily my least favorite NES shmup, dull and loops after 3 levels)
Time Lord (stupidly hard beat-em-up with the worst controls I've ever played in the genre
Times of Lore (an ambitious open-world RPG for the NES, too bad the controls are garbage)
Toxic Crusaders (stupidly difficult beat-em-up)
Ultima V: Warriors of Destiny (a port of the PC RPG that moves at approximately 4 FPS)
Where's Waldo (basically no substance)
All three Wizards & Warriors game (the controls are atrocious and I have never understood the appeal)
Any of those unlicense games about the bible
