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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16135
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uhhhhhh
| Quote: |
Thieves stole a man's penis while he slept, according to police.
Fei Lin, 41, of the Niqiao village near Wenling City, in east China’s Zhejiang province, told police he was asleep when the thieves burst into his room and put a bag over his head, according to CEN/EUROPICS and as reported in the Daily Star.
"They put something over my head and pulled down my trousers and then they ran off," Lin said. "I was so shocked I didn't feel a thing - then I saw I was bleeding and my penis was gone."
Police believe the attackers were jealous lovers of several local women whom Lin was having affairs with, the Austrian Times reported. Lin denied taking part in any infidelity.
Emergency workers and police searched for Lin's anatomy but turned up nothing, according to TNT Magazine. The penis thieves are nowhere to be found, but police said they're looking for the jealous lovers. |
http://x.co/ovdz
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| Klimbatize wrote: |
| I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load |
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sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
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It's probably the #7 lunch special at P.F. Chang's by now.
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Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24886
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Jesus Christ. Penis thieves. What is the world coming to?
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LeshLush
Joined: Oct 19 2009
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 1479
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I'm not entirely sure if "thieves" is the most appropriate word to use in this situation.
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Zinja
Joined: Sep 05 2012
Posts: 81
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Oh man, that is some fucked up shit right there. Someone is probably using his lower horn as an aphrodisiac.
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LeshLush
Joined: Oct 19 2009
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 1479
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I'm not entirely sure if "lower horn" or "aphrodisiac" are the appropriate words to use in this situation.
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24886
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LeshLush... is your avatar an 8-bit rendering of Jonathan Frakes as Will Riker playing trombone?
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Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
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LeshLush
Joined: Oct 19 2009
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 1479
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| LeshLush... is your avatar an 8-bit rendering of Jonathan Frakes as Will Riker playing trombone? |
Yes it is.
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Cactus
Joined: Oct 05 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 104
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That's not the right way to get ahead in life.
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Fighter_McWarrior
Title: Gun of Brixton
Joined: Jun 05 2011
Location: Down by the River
Posts: 1087
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"Spanish bombs, yot' quierro y finito
Yo te querda oh ma corazón
Oh ma corazón, oh ma corazón" - The Clash, Spanish Bombs |
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Alowishus
Joined: Aug 04 2009
Posts: 2515
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LOL i was going to post this.
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sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
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Since he's Asian it's unlikely to be found because it's so small.
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Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom. |
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i'll_bite_your_ear
Title: Distillatoria
Joined: Jun 09 2010
Location: van down by the river
Posts: 3707
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That's pretty harsh. They should have rather talked it out. Instead of being such dicks... ok, i apologize for that lazy pun.
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it was the best of times
it was the blurst of times |
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DeroMan64
Title: George Lopez's Diary
Joined: Oct 11 2012
Location: Bumfuck Egypt
Posts: 27
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Maybe they're sub-human mole people who harvest penises every year for a feast.
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"TACO SALAD'S ON THE MENU TONIGHT BOYS"
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