SydLexia.com - The Forums :: View topic - Michael Bay shits on your childhood again

Posted: Mar 22 2012 11:46 pm

username wrote:

jprime wrote:

I refer you to my earlier statement, since no one seems to have acknowledged it:

jprime wrote:

The Transformers movies all happened because we let them happen, despite foreknowledge thereof and as to their suckiness. Such needn't be the case here. If enough of us track him down and corner him, we can stop him.

track him down & corner him? and then what? beat him up? kill him? what the hell are you talking about?

Yeah, that's just ridicolous if meant serious. I'll just keep complaining.

Joined: Sep 17 2007 Location: The Opium Trail Posts: 3475

Ross Rifle wrote:

I am so angry right now. I'm almost shaking. I just...wow. I want to say that I hope he's just the world's biggest troll, but he proved how serious he is by sodomizing GI Joe and then dragging the Transformers through the dirt twice more. My. God. he is an Expletive Expletive.

And the whole alien thing completely destroys this. There's the obvious negation of Mutant and Turtle, but the likelihood that an alien race would categorize age groups as we do, or that they would study the ancient human art of Ninja is very slim.

So, these Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles from space would not be teenage, nor mutant, nor ninja, nor turtles.

That sounds exactly like the kind of bag of boiled horsecock I would expect from Bay. I am so angry.

If I ever meet him, I'm going to shit in his mouth as a literal interpretation of making him eat his own ideas.

justdrop wrote:

He has much more to redeem himself for. GI Joe and Pearl Harbor are both his abominations as well.

You guys know Bay had nothing to do with the GI Joe movies, right? As in not even produced them?

Posted: Mar 24 2012 07:22 am

Shut up!! Michael Bay made every bad movie in the history of movies!!

Title: an horse Joined: Feb 26 2012 Posts: 169

Let's look at the mans track record...

Michael Bay:

-Talked Lucas into Crystal Skull (when working as an intern)
-Cast George Clooney as Batman
-Raped Feldman and Haim in the 80's
-Invented 90% of all book to film adaptations
-Killed Elvis and replaced him with a fat guy
-Made Paris Hilton a star
-Created Jersey Shore
-Discovered the Kardashians
-Killed Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, James Dean, River Phoenix and more
-Introduced Nick Cage to Ghost Rider
-Invented Jar Jar Binks for Lucas (when working as an intern)
-Had Deadwood cancelled
-Combined the Alien and Predator franchises
-Talked Brian Singer into paying tribute to Richard Donner instead of make his own fucking movie
-Introduced Charlie Sheen to cocaine
-Created Aston Kutcher in a laboratory
-Created Russel Brand in a laboratory
-Created Jennifer Lopez in a laboratory
-Created Miley Cyrus in a laboratory
-Created Justin Bieber in a laboratory
-Convinced Eddie Murphy to wear a fat suit
-Invented Twilight, chose the cast for Twilght and made them all stars

There's more but I can't remember.. can you guys help me out?

Shit just got real.

Posted: Mar 24 2012 09:10 am

i'll_bite_your_ear wrote:

Shut up!! Michael Bay made every bad movie in the history of movies!!

This.

Posted: Mar 24 2012 09:17 am

Lasher wrote:

Let's look at the mans track record...

Michael Bay:

-Combined the Alien and Predator franchises

You made some good points but what's wrong with Alien Vs Predator? Those are actually pretty solid sci-fi-action-movies wich also reveal interesting parts of the mythology of Alien and Predator.

Title: an horse Joined: Feb 26 2012 Posts: 169

Why the long face?

Title: an horse Joined: Feb 26 2012 Posts: 169

Peter Laird wrote:

I read the director's comments and found them to be vague and open to different interpretations... one of the most obvious of which is, sadly, that the Turtles are from an alien race. Which is exactly what Michael Bay said. I guess we'll have to wait and see.

I think it's clear that most people -- and I count myself one of them -- don't have any idea of what the true intentions of the new TMNT film's makers are regarding the origin story of the TMNT in the film. All we have to go on, really, is an off-the-cuff comment by Michael Bay which SEEMS to be somewhat ridiculous. But as I wrote earlier, though my gut feeling is that this is NOT a good direction in which to head, it is POSSIBLE -- if not necessarily LIKELY -- that some incredibly talented creative team might take this goofy idea and turn it into something really good. I am not sanguine about that possibility... but who knows? Not me, and certainly not you.

The point I am trying to make here is that had I (again, speaking solely for myself and not for Kevin) been making the key creative decisions for that first animated series, it would have been VERY different. Among other things, there would likely have been no moronic henchmen like Bebop and Rocksteady. The Shredder would have been seriously malevolent. April would not have been a reporter and constantly need to be rescued by the Turtles. The Turtles would not have been so ridiculously obsessed with pizza, and the Shredder would not have had as one of his businesses a restaurant called "Ninja Pizza". There might have been something that sort of looked like Krang, but it would have been an Utrom in a cool robotic exoskeleton. And the show would not have had a joke or gag every five seconds.

That's a pretty good point I guess.

Posted: Mar 24 2012 11:35 pm

I can certainly see Laird's point, especially having read the B&W old-school TMNT comics. My worry is that Bay's going to have to layer on a shit-sheen of more fucking dogs and wacky middle aged ladies amidst the explosions and titty shirts. The guy has a hard time not adding in a bunch of schlock to his films and going for gags. Had the cartoon been more like Eastman/Laird's vision of things, I don't think most of the people on this forum would have been allowed to watch it, to be honest. I'd still like to see a super-violent remake for Adult Swim or the like.

Title: an horse Joined: Feb 26 2012 Posts: 169

aeonic wrote:

I'd still like to see a super-violent remake for Adult Swim or the like.

That would be awesome.. In terms of Turtles and Michael Bay - I'm thinking it would be nice if he did that instead of Transformers. That would have made more sense. I don't know.. I give up. It's all just crap.

I don't believe in anything anymore.

Joined: Sep 17 2007 Location: The Opium Trail Posts: 3475

Peter Laird's comments are exactly why I refuse to give a shit about all the fuss about Michael Bay. The very thing most of us grew up loving was a complete bastardization of the original idea. It's not like we meant any harm. We were just annoyed cos our parents took us into K-Mart or whatever and were bored as shit. Then we saw these VHS cassette tapes with this green dude running at the camera with two swords drawn and thought it was the fuckin shit. We said "MOMMY MOMMY GET US THAT!" and more often than not they did. And thus the seed was set and a creation was cut down for the masses.

I will say that thankfully the 2nd, 3rd and 4th video games hold up marvelously. I say all you need is the original mini-series of the show (since it was the most violent), those three games and you're set.

Posted: Mar 25 2012 04:30 pm

As bad a rap as the first game gets, I can't bring myself to play the sequels without beating it first. Besides, I have a system for it and, as I've said before, I actually quite enjoy it.

Posted: Apr 02 2012 08:00 pm

JoshWoodzy wrote:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/celebritology/post/michael-bay-gets-an-earful-from-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-fans-an-apology-from-actor-chris-odowd/2012/03/19/gIQAxvpLNS_blog.html

The Michael Bay quote regarding the turtles:

"Kids are going to believe, one day, that these turtles actually do exist, when we are done with this movie. These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely lovable."

From the article:

"As many (many, many, many) others have pointed out, you can’t make the turtles aliens. Their mutation from normal reptiles to crime-fighters via radioactive goop is a crucial part of their origin story. “Mutant” is in the title for a reason.

Of course, Bay may have misspoken when he used the phrase “alien race” and everyone is getting worked up for naught. But if this is not a mistake — and Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Raphael are actually going to be aliens for some reason — Bay should prepare to feel the wrath of “TMNT” fan boys everywhere.

Bay’s name also made headlines last week after “Bridesmaids” star Chris O’Dowd commented on the director’s very public falling out with Megan Fox, the Irish actor’s “Friends With Kids” co-star. O’Dowd told the Toronto Sun:

"I don’t know the ins and outs of it, but it's all down to having a fallout with Michael Bay. But who wouldn't have a fallout with him? It's one of the sexist things (sic) I've ever seen. She called him an [expletive]. Well, he is [an expletive expletive]. She’s not the only one who has said that. Why has she been singled out?"

When asked whether he was afraid his comments would prevent him from working with Bay, O’Dowd replied, “I would never [expletive] watch his films, never mind go and act in them.”

Now I have another reason to love Chris O'Dowd.

i'll_bite_your_ear wrote:

You made some good points but what's wrong with Alien Vs Predator? Those are actually pretty solid sci-fi-action-movies wich also reveal interesting parts of the mythology of Alien and Predator.

YES!!! Finally, someone who agrees with me on this!

Posted: Jun 15 2012 04:16 pm

Quote:

It looks like Paramount has finally learned their lesson the very, very hard way. After scuttling three movies slated for a 2012 release into 2013 -- "Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters," "World War Z" and "G.I. Joe: Retaliation" -- it seems studio executives have decided to actually read the script of "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles," and they don't like what they see. They really don't like it.

Even though pre-production was underway in Vancouver, with a Christmas 2013 release date planned, the studio has put "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" on indefinite hold and pushed the release date back. No word on what exactly were the issues behind the scenes, but it seems inconceivable to us that a movie about four talking turtles with martial arts skills from an alien planet (or something), with a sewer rat for a sensei, could possibly have story problems...right?

But the effects of the cancellation/hiatus on the pic have further reaching consequences. The film was being seen as something that could not only revive the brand, but the ratings-challenged Nickelodeon itself (owned by Paramount's parent company Viacom). But clearly, Paramount is not ready to fall down another financial rabbit hole with this one until everything is the right place creatively. You would think they would've learned this a few movies ago...

So, director Jonathan Liebesman is now free, we guess, to take on a new job, and we can stop wondering about who Kid Cudi might play. It looks like Michaelangelo, Donatello, Raphael and Leonardo will have to wait to get another shot at eating pizza on the big screen. And it looks like super-fans, who were worried by what Michael Bay's Platinum Dunes were going to do to their heroes on the half shell, can breathe a sigh of relief. For now.

http://x.co/lAku

alright. lets hope they dont fuck it up even worse.

Wizard Joined: Jun 12 2009 Posts: 4209

i'll_bite_your_ear wrote:

Lasher wrote:

Let's look at the mans track record...

Michael Bay:

-Combined the Alien and Predator franchises

You made some good points but what's wrong with Alien Vs Predator? Those are actually pretty solid sci-fi-action-movies wich also reveal interesting parts of the mythology of Alien and Predator.

Eh. It depends on how you slice it, I think. The concept is brilliant, but tha acting is atrocious. Felt like I was watching cardboard cut outs. And in light of Prometheus...

[SPOILER:889006eab9]We now have a possible explanation as to how the Alien got to Earth, further explained in AvP with the rituals and shit.[/SPOILER:889006eab9]

But I honestly felt as if it was less of a Sci-Fi movie than purely a suspense-action movie. But that's just me.

Posted: Jun 17 2012 04:08 pm

Lasher wrote:

Let's look at the mans track record...

Michael Bay:

-Killed Heath Ledger, Michael Jackson, James Dean, River Phoenix and more

Come on. Everyone knows that NASA killed Michael Jackson.

Wizard Joined: Jun 12 2009 Posts: 4209

You guys may be glad to hear: the TMNT movie was canceled.

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

Drew, please provide a link or other evidence.

Posted: Jul 15 2012 09:40 am

Known about this for a while:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2012/jun/18/teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-film

Joined: Dec 06 2007 Location: Connecticut Posts: 11244

That does not say it was cancelled. It says that it was shelved indefinitely, however it gives the impression that it will be pushed through eventually.

Joined: Apr 09 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 3112

GPFontaine wrote:

That does not say it was cancelled. It says that it was shelved indefinitely, however it gives the impression that it will be pushed through eventually.

Whenever movies get shelved, it's pretty much a kiss of death, like with that one heinous Superman movie. They'll probably keep it out of some contractual obligation, but it will most likely either be completely re-written or have a whole new script.

Posted: Jul 16 2012 04:04 am

Or be never released, like the 1994 Fantastic Four movie.

Then again, last year they released the Reb Brown Captain America Movies on DVD , so that one could happen someday.

http://www.superherohype.com/news/articles/168414-the-1979-captain-america-telefilms-head-to-dvd

Title: an horse Joined: Feb 26 2012 Posts: 169

This... This is a Turtles movie:

Joined: Aug 04 2009 Posts: 2515

Greg the White wrote:

GPFontaine wrote:

That does not say it was cancelled. It says that it was shelved indefinitely, however it gives the impression that it will be pushed through eventually.

Whenever movies get shelved, it's pretty much a kiss of death, like with that one heinous Superman movie. They'll probably keep it out of some contractual obligation, but it will most likely either be completely re-written or have a whole new script.

I want to see the Superman-Spider battle. I don't care if the film gets 0/10 i still must see it.

Title: an horse Joined: Feb 26 2012 Posts: 169

Alowishus wrote:

I want to see the Superman-Spider battle. I don't care if the film gets 0/10 i still must see it.

That happened. As much as it ever will anyway. In the Superman/Doomsday/Death of Superman animated film. It even has a Kevin Smith cameo at the end of the battle.