I know there's been nothing in here for a while, but until about an hour ago, I didn't know who Rachael Ray was. I got up early because my girlfriend had to go to work, so I got up to get online and yada yada. I didn't feel like throwing a movie in like I usually do, so I turned the TV on while waiting for TPIR. I was thinking that I was going to see Tony Danza, but in remembering that he was gone, I wondered what was going to be on. Imagine the distance of my jaw drop as I read RACHAEL RAY and her generic logo on the screen.

Anyway, she had her mom on the show and she was cooking for most of it. She just keeps talking and talking. I guess you have to do that, but Christ, she sounds like a fucking teenager. She's about three steps away from being a blonde surfer chick. While her mother was cooking Rachael kept trying to rush her mother and suggesting things to add and her mother would be like, "Uh... no." Rachael Ray's speech very quickly becomes annoyingly monotonous.

I just imagine her hanging out with my friends. I do this with a lot of people to try to gauge how things would go. We'd probably be doing something and she'd keep making suggestions. We'd eventually ignore her, even if she had good ideas. If anyone was going to fuck her, I'd suggest taping her mouth shut.

Basically, it's a case of: She'd be cute if she were mute.

I seriously want to punch her in the mouth and make her choke to death on her own teeth and drown in the blood from the esophageal lacerations from those bigass, smiling teeth. GAH!