Karate Kid III is the final installment of the Karate Kid Trilogy (The Next Karate Kid - otherwise known as The Rape of Pat Morita's Career & Shameless Exploitation of a Movie Franchise Once Held in High Regard - a movie which attempts to replace the legendary Ralph Macchio with the dildo toting lesbian whore from 'Boys Don't Cry', is not and will never be considered the 4th installment of the KK saga). KKIII introduces the viewer to a new villain, Terry Silver, a Vietnam War veteran, industrialist and an all-around ponytail sporting bad ass with a penchant for maniacal laughing, martial arts and revenge; however first and foremost, Terry Silver is a friend, an amazingly loyal friend to be exact. When John Kreese shows up on his doorstep, down trodden and on the verge of suicide after completely losing his shit when Johnny Lawrence got a Crane Kick to his dome-piece and lost the All-Valley 17 & Under Karate Tournament, Terry sends him to Tahiti for some good ol' fashion South Pacific Punani while he devises an elaborate plan to utterly humiliate and destroy Daniel San. This is probably the best thing Kreese could have done since he essentially committed 2nd degree assault on 3 underage boys in public… time to lay low psycho.
Terry Silver is so loyal that he puts all of his multi-million dollar business endeavors on hold in order to terrorize a teenage Karate champion for the better part of a month; building up his confidence, turning him into a blood-thirsty killer and a slope hating racist with a short-fuse… all for the sake of friendship.
Silver even goes so far as to fly in ‘Karate-Bad-Boy’ Mike Barnes (played by Sean Kanan of The Bold and the Beautiful) offering to pay in the form of 50% of all the profits generated from the Cobra Kai Dojos which are sure to flourish once Barnes defecates all over Daniel’s lifeless corpse upon defeating him in the All Valley 17 & Under Karate Tournament. Silver also provides Barnes with a posse of grunts led by the cliché’ Snake with the following endorsement:
“If you're looking to be a bad boy in L.A., Snake's the boy to be bad with. Right, Snake?”
Mind you this is all taking place while Silver is in a bubble bath… Not sure why a guy who is supposed to be 40 knows the right teenage boys to be bad with in L.A.…
Meanwhile Daniel is putting the finishing touches on his business plan for his freshman year entrepreneurship course at UCLA, entitled: Bonzai Trees – Why People Who Live in the Slums by Railroad Tracks Love Em’.
Unfortunately for Daniel once he completed the business plan, he realized that he in fact already pissed his college savings away for the second time on actually implementing his business plan. You see, Daniel knew that he had a fucking golden ticket in his back pocket; he was about to corner the market on Bonzai Tree sales and didn’t need a diploma to tell him he was god damn genius.
Once Danny and Miagi buy 11 bonzai trees and lease out Ted Kaczynski's former residence to set up shop they are ready for business; that is until none other than Snake and Barnes show up. The bad boy of karate is about to show Daniel just why Terry Silver flew him out to L.A. in the first place… to kick 17 year old girls in the stomach of course! Barnes is such a ‘bad boy’! He also attempts to get Daniel to sign the entrance form to the karate tournament so that he can take Daniel’s title and thus cash in on his contract with Silver. At this point Miyagi has already convinced Daniel that karate tournaments are for queers so Daniel refuses to sign the piece of paper. Barnes proceeds to treat Daniel like Moose McGurk treated Punky Brewster and beats his dirty Jersey heritage out of him… defeated and shamed, Daniel is left looking for answers – that’s when Terry Silver comes to his rescue!
Part II coming soon!
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