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Posted: Apr 12 2008 10:39 am

There's so many crappy reality shows on TV these days, I figured we might as well come up with some of our own. Here's mine:

Jeff and Paul's Excellent Adventure

Basically, we give Jeffrey Jones and Paul Reubens an ice cream truck and make them drive it cross-crounty from Los Angeles to New York, hitting all 48 continental states along the way. The truck will be fully stocked with frozen treats, which they must sell to pay for gas and lodging. If they run out of frozen treats, the producers will provide them with more. For each full day that Jeff and Paul make it without molesting any children or propositioning any children for sex, they win fabulous cash prizes and JVC electronics. If they can successfully complete their trip without physically or emotionally scarring any children, they will be awarded roles in the next Tim Burton movie.

Posted: Apr 12 2008 12:58 pm

I am so sick of people bashing Paul Reubens! He's not a child molester dammit, he's Pee Wee! And yes I know he was hit with child porn charges, I also know said charges were dropped and the pictures in question weren't really at all pornographic in nature. Weird, yes, I'll grant you that but there's no law against being weird. The man is a pop culture legend and we all abandoned him for whacking off in a porno theatre and having a few questionable pictures, for shame.

Posted: Apr 12 2008 01:12 pm

Earth's Next Guardian

After decades of faithful painstaking service, the guardian of the Earth has retired and now needs a successor. Just as before, the world's greatest warriors, one to a fighting style, will gather in a select location and compete against one another in a series of simulated planetary threats. The only difference now is that the world will be watching. Each episode after the first, one of the candidates will be eliminated a la Survivor until the successor is found, for the guardian of the Earth must always be able to fight alone.

Posted: Apr 12 2008 02:09 pm

I thought for a reality show to be a reality show you needed scantily clad ladies everywhere?

Posted: Apr 12 2008 02:48 pm

a good reality show must have adam sandler cuz awesomo said so

Posted: Apr 12 2008 03:10 pm

WHO POOP RAST?!?

Posted: Apr 12 2008 04:37 pm

I think they should actually start focusing on Reality rather than Celebrity Reality. Like Biggest Loser...not the celebrity fit club crap. Take 20 OBESE people and kick them in the ass to be healthy. I used to watch it because the dramatic changes that I saw were just crazy. Who knew that 300 lbs of fat could hide pretty women underneath?

Posted: Apr 12 2008 04:41 pm

Agreed. Seriously, who wants to see Chyna in rehab?

Posted: Apr 13 2008 01:56 am

I hate reality TV... but I actually have to pitch reality shows, so score one for irony...

I only liked Project Greenlight and Who Wants To Be A Superhero? Although, Mr. Personality gets props from me for being obviously scripted. Speaking of scripted, Murder in Small Town X was fun. And, damn Fox, I still have "American High's" theme stuck in my head.

I guess to combine those things would be: 10 people are forced to make a superhero movie, but on the first day the director is murdered. The 10 people have to find out who did it out of the cast and crew. Every day someone is killed randomly. There's no voting here, it's not based on talent, but luck. The winner gets to go back to high school to legally improve their GPA while a reality show documents their journey.

Posted: Apr 13 2008 05:26 pm

Douche McCallister wrote:

I think they should actually start focusing on Reality rather than Celebrity Reality. Like Biggest Loser...not the celebrity fit club crap. Take 20 OBESE people and kick them in the ass to be healthy. I used to watch it because the dramatic changes that I saw were just crazy. Who knew that 300 lbs of fat could hide pretty women underneath?

SO. You're one of the ones keeping this garbage on air. I always wondered who was watching Biggest Loser. Shows like Jericho are getting cancelled, but shows about fat people losing weight sells? I'll never get it.

I long for the days of Magnum P.I. and Simon & Simon.

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

fifty people on a secluded island, one serial killer. will they find the killer in time, or will the killer... kill them?

conversely, you could swap "people" for "children" and "serial killer" for "sex offender"

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

"The Life Aquatic"

Hilarity and hijinx ensues when Aquaman moves into an apartment with some old friends from college. Will the King of the Sea keep his head, or will something fishy happen?

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

I also think it would be funny to put the nemesis from resident evil, the green goblin, and fred durst in an apartment together, and give them the tools to form a band, and they have to use the money form the band to pay for food and lodging.

2010 SLF Tag Champ Joined: Jun 07 2006 Posts: 12294

"Million Dollar Baby"

Ted Debiase just hired Gene Snitsky to kidnap the baby McMahon. Tune in as cameras follow him on his quest.

Posted: Apr 14 2008 03:09 pm

How about you take two rich white guys and put them in the ghetto and they have to escape, that would make an easy reality show, it might only last one episode though. Twisted Evil

Fuck if I owned a helicopter and 2 cameras I would do this show myself.

Posted: Apr 15 2008 05:35 pm

scamrock wrote:

Douche McCallister wrote:

I think they should actually start focusing on Reality rather than Celebrity Reality. Like Biggest Loser...not the celebrity fit club crap. Take 20 OBESE people and kick them in the ass to be healthy. I used to watch it because the dramatic changes that I saw were just crazy. Who knew that 300 lbs of fat could hide pretty women underneath?

SO. You're one of the ones keeping this garbage on air. I always wondered who was watching Biggest Loser. Shows like Jericho are getting cancelled, but shows about fat people losing weight sells? I'll never get it.

I long for the days of Magnum P.I. and Simon & Simon.

See Above...

Posted: Apr 15 2008 06:39 pm

You're a Star!

Every week, somebody is picked at random, and for the week they are constantly followed by poparazzi, who photograph everything they are doing, and constantly ask them questions.

Then, they make up horrible shit about you and post it in your local paper!

Posted: Apr 15 2008 08:08 pm

WWF - The rebirth!
Follow 14 dead wrestlers as they struggle to get back to life and fame again, from wherever they are, and revive the golden age of wrestling.

Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, British Bulldog, Bam Bam Bigelow, Big John Studd, Gorilla Monsoon, Crash Holly, Yokozuna, Rocky Johnson, Big Boss Man, André The Giant, Owen Hart, El Santo (special guest) and Miss Elizabeth.

Patron is Vince J. McMahon. Spiritual commentaries by Mae Young and Bob Backlund.

Posted: Apr 15 2008 09:26 pm

Chile Guy wrote:

WWF - The rebirth!
Follow 14 dead wrestlers as they struggle to get back to life and fame again, from wherever they are, and revive the golden age of wrestling.

Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, British Bulldog, Bam Bam Bigelow, Big John Studd, Gorilla Monsoon, Crash Holly, Yokozuna, Rocky Johnson, Big Boss Man, André The Giant, Owen Hart, El Santo (special guest) and Miss Elizabeth.

Patron is Vince J. McMahon. Spiritual commentaries by Mae Young and Bob Backlund.

You win.