Being the night owl as of late (no job ), I've been watching more and more of the crap they put out there as far as 3 am Informercials. Speaking of literal crap, that's what brings me to this guy:
Meet Klee Irwin, he is the creator of a product called the "Dual Action Cleanse". You've probably seen him on TV before, but if you pay attention to what he's saying, you'll be in for a treat. Klee's product is supposed to help "decontaminate your body of toxins and other hazardous materials we've injested over the years. Would you trust this man with the safety of your sphincter?
According to his research, we should be having at least 3 bowel movements a day. They should also be "as thick and long as our arm", much like his daughter's. He goes on to make several other brilliant points such as John Wayne having 40 lbs of shit inside him when he died, and that a man named Thomas Parr lived to the age of 152, due to a healthy lifestyle. What really drives the humor home is the stock photos of people who act or look ill, due to not being healthy. This item is no more than a glorified laxative, but I keep seeing it on, so I thought I'd pass it along as I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of anyone believing this guy.
Anyone have any infomercials they'd like to share?
ODS
Title: Pretty Sweet Guy
Joined: Oct 21 2009
Posts: 139
Posted:
Oct 28 2009 01:34 pm
Uh that's why I never watch tv at night. I'm still scared of Vince from the Sham-Wow commercials. He reminds me too much of the Scout from Tf2. Haha.
Doddsino
Joined: Oct 01 2009
Posts: 5316
Posted:
Oct 28 2009 01:55 pm
Dude...Vince Offer kicks ass. I don't like Sham Wow...but Slap Chop looks awesome.
Also keep in mind that this guy also made the "Underground Comedy Movie" and was kicked out of the church of Scientology for being too crazy for them. In recent times, he beat up a hooker after she bit down on his tongue. Hopefully he cleaned up the blood with a Shamwow.
Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
Posted:
Oct 28 2009 03:06 pm
Two to three times a day sounds about right, but as thick as my arm?
Pandajuice
Title: The Power of Grayskull
Joined: Oct 30 2008
Location: US and UK
Posts: 2649
Posted:
Oct 28 2009 03:26 pm
As far as health goes, the number or regularity in which you go number 2 doesn't make any difference. It's counter-intuitive, I know, but a guy who goes once every 3 days is just as healthy as one who goes 5 times a day.
Also, if you want a colon cleanse, just take a shit. Done.
All this "toxins" nonsense is hilarious and anyone who buys into it needs a life lesson in not getting ripped off by snake oil salesmen.
Berserk007
Title: Freelance Skull Grinder
Joined: Aug 21 2009
Posts: 293
Posted:
Oct 28 2009 04:45 pm
Some studies have even suggested that colon cleansing can lead to an increased chance of bowel cancer...there is really no proof either way, until there is I side with mother nature, anyone who actually buys into this stuff is more than likly the type of person that is a psycho health nut and browbeats anyone into submission about any topic involving health then goes and smokes a pack a day. Other than that the only people I see wanting this are cancer survivers or people feeding their own paranoia.
For my confession they burned me with fire and found I was for endurance made. - The Arabian Nights
Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
Posted:
Oct 28 2009 09:00 pm
Quite a while back I almost ended up working the phones for a clinic that does a similar operation to this, the training orientation got quite hilarious when the representative insisted that we try to get people to book group appointments with their friends, because he says that a lot of friends love going together.
I just can't picture it, " Hey Bill whatcha doing tonight? Wanna come get your colon cleansed with me?
), I've been watching more and more of the crap they put out there as far as 3 am Informercials. Speaking of literal crap, that's what brings me to this guy:
