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Posted: Oct 24 2009 01:24 pm

*for any confusion about the neon green text reference this is going in my blog later and that's the default text color, just thought I'd post it here too and see what you guys think.

In the interest of keeping things interesting (which as I've pointed out before is relevant to my interests) I've decided to switch things up a bit. Today we are going to dissect the Lyrics to the stupidest song ever: Keep Rollin (rollin rollin rollin) by the stupidest band ever: Limp Bizkit.

The lyrics themselves will be in the standard neon green, my thoughts about them will be in bright red, lending this post a charming Christmasy feel.

(Christmas time wouldn't be the same with hugs and kisses and a poo choo train!)

Okay, here we go!

Alright partner...keep on rollin' baby
You know what time it is *OK off to a fantastic start, he's told us what the title of the song is, and is being somewhat flirtatious by calling us baby.
(Throw yo hands up) *this is a reminder to the listener that the song cannot be enjoyed to it's full potential if their arms are not locked in the fully upright position.

(Ladies and gentlemen) *Oh how polite!
Chocolate Starfish!
Keep on rollin' baby *Fred once again reminds us of the general idea behind the song because he realizes that people who willfully listen to Limp Bizkit are legally retarded and must be reminded of what they are listening to. He also proclaims Chocolate Starfish, which I'm sure he's a personal fan of. (look it up on urban dictionary, I'm not wasting my time)

Move in now move out *What the hell? Is he sponsored by U Haul?
Hands up now hands down *It's like a hip new version of the Hokey Pokey....
Back up back up
Tell me what you're gonna do now * Why all the questions, didn't you just get done telling me what to do?

Breath in now breath out * Good advice, don't want to die of asphyxiation before the song is over, oh wait...
Hands up now hands down * this again, FINE!
Back up back up
Tell me what you're gonna do now * We've already gone over this, what's with your love of ordering the listeners around?

Keep rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin' (x4) This is the chorus, a deep and meaningful lyric about maintaining forward motion by causing rotation over a surface. Rolling is an action that he is clearly in favor of maintaining and perpetuating.

Now I know ya'll be lovin this shit right here *How presumptuous of him, I should punch him straight in the dick!
L.I.M.P Bizkit is right here *What's the point of spelling the first half of the name correct when the second half is so retarded?
People in the house with them hands in the air *I hope for your sake that you remembered to keep your arms in the air, don't let his now hands down bit throw you off!
Cause if you don't care then we don't care * Ohh irreverence, the kids will eat this up!
One two three time zoom to the 6 *I honestly have no idea what t he fuck he is trying to tell us here...
Jonesin for you picks of the Limp Bizkit mix *Oh I get it, he needed something to rhyme with this garbage, also no one anywhere is addicted to Limp Bizkit, period.
So where the fuck you at punk? *This is the thanks I get for listening to this? how rude!
Shut the fuck up * I'm not saying anything I'm listening, someone has anger issues...
And back the fuck up *more backing up, let's add personal space issues to the list.
Before we fuck this track up *That threat is null, it is by definition fucked up because you are on it.
(Throw yo hands up) *technically it's impossible to throw your hands in the air, because you need to your hands to throw them. I supposed with a chainsaw you could throw one hand in the air, but both of them? No that's impossible.

In the interest of saving space I'll skip the chorus we already covered. Instead here's proof that Limp Bizkit is gay.

(There, all the proof you need.)

YOU wanna mess with the Bizkit? - Yeah *Again with the presumptuousness, I really want nothing to do with the biscuit, in fact I wish I'd never heard of them.
You can't mess with the Bizkit - Why? *No one cares!
Cause we get it on - When? * Yeah, with dudes...
Everyday and everynight - Oh * ha ha ha this is too easy!
See this platinum thing right here - Uh-Huh *No one cares about your silver butt plug, put it away...
Well we're doin it all the time - What? * Gay jokes are really too easy with this shit.
So you better get some better beats
And uh, get some better rhymes - Doh! * who told this asshat I had beats? I don't need rhymes because I'm not a rapper. Nice Simpson's reference with the Doh, wtf this doesn't even rhyme!

We got the game set
So don't complain yet
24/7 never beggin for a raincheck * Sports metaphors mixed with references to ones imagined street cred is douchebag marketing gold!
Old school soldiers
Blastin out the hot shit *Diarrhea has nothing to do with street cred, this is just gross and immature.
That rock shit
Let 'em bounce in the mosh pit
(Throw yo hands up) *It's not rock because it doesn't rock, also anyone who bounces in the mosh pit, especially with their hands up, is going to get seriously hurt by people who are actually moshing. Furthermore, anyone moshing while Limp Bizkit is playing AUTOMATICALLY fails at life.

Hey ladies Hey fellas
And the people that don't give a fuck *Fun fact, you can get away with crap that doesn't even rhyme as long as you have swearing!
All the lovers all the haters
And all the people that call themselves playas
Hot mammas, pimp daddies
And the people rollin' in the Caddies
Hey rockers, hip-hoppers
And everybody all around the world * This is just embarrassing, he calls out for the attention of every conceivable demographic that would be stupid enough to listen to him, and he does it with a corny ass white boy rap that is less hip than my grandma's electric scooter. I'll skip the rest of what he proceeds to sing / rap / sound like a douchbage about, because it's just the same gibberish chorus as before.

(Somewhere in Iowa, a moron laments the loss of their Limp Bizkit CD.)

Gah I wish I hadn't done this, there's a bad taste in my eyes from reading that crap. I'm truly sorry for subjecting you to that.

Joined: Aug 04 2009 Posts: 2515

Limp Bizkit really get a lot of stick from people but they honestly aren't that bad at all.

I think it's compulsory to know all the lyrics to Break Stuff. I don't even listen to it that much and i do haha.

Posted: Oct 25 2009 01:21 am

Break Stuff is forgivable.

Joined: May 22 2008 Location: Goshen, VA Posts: 6544

Barely.

Wait, no it's really not.

Posted: Oct 25 2009 01:26 am

I like the part about packing a chainsaw, but that's about it.

Joined: May 22 2008 Location: Goshen, VA Posts: 6544

Well Barry Manilow could name drop a chainsaw and I'd be all over that.

Posted: Oct 25 2009 01:36 am

...

You win this round Mr. Woodzell! Mad

Joined: Oct 01 2009 Posts: 5316

Blackout wrote:

(Somewhere in Iowa, a moron laments the loss of their Limp Bizkit CD.)

Yeah...I remember the "Bizkit" craze back in 2000, I thought he sucked even then, and got crap from my friends for thinking so. It also didn't help that The Undertaker used to have "Rollin" as his entrance music, and Fred was even an unlockable character on one of the SD games. I had that Chocolate Starfish album, but that's only because I stole it from some kid and only ended up listening to it once before I got rid of it in a church rummage sale.

Posted: Oct 26 2009 10:04 pm

My girlfriend at the time ended up buying a censored version from K Mart. DOUBLE FAIL!

Posted: Oct 28 2009 12:55 pm

Fred Durst is talentless. His music reflects his personality. He sucks, his band sucks and Wes Borland's best career move was leaving that shit-hole of a band. Any person that claims to be a Limp Bizkit fan, is most likely the same fag who gets down on Disturbed and all that radio bubble gum rock crap. I sure if that same person who thinks Fred is awesome, probaly thinks David Draiman is the most intellecual person on face of the earth, with his gay shaved head and retarded lip peircing. Disturbed sucks. I fucking hate that band, and all it's fairwhether fans.

Infact, all those retarded fans give rock music a bad name. No wonder parents think metal is the devils music!! Because all those retarded kids dress like it's fucking halloween everyday, and for attention!! Stupid attention-deprived idoits like that give the real fans, and musicians a bad name! Fuckin' assholes!! GOD!!!

Joined: Oct 01 2009 Posts: 5316

I group Bizkit fans in the same group as ICP fans. And people from my generation who consider Pink Floyd or the Beatles as the best band ever? Give me a break, you weren't around for them to be groundbreaking, and probably couldn't tell the difference between the White Album and Abby Road.

Posted: Nov 01 2009 09:41 am

James Maynard Keenan (Tool-Oklahoma Concert): Good evening. You're all planning on having fun tonight... right ? We probably should make some kind of distinction of the kind of fun we are gonna have tonight. Not Like WWF or Monster truck rally fun. NOT Limp Bizkit, Kidrock kind of fun. The difference being that we don't underestimate your intelligence.