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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
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| sidewaydriver wrote: |
| As a registered sex offender, I can assure you that you cannot bang your wife while she is in a coma. That is why you must have her sign a document and get it notarized which says that in the event of a coma, you are allowed to have sex with her. You have to be very specific in the document though because if you don't list sodomy and you what what in her butt, you broke the law. |
The original question was unbelievably disturbing... but from a purely legal standpoint, I am curious to know what the legalities are if such a document happened to exist.
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Pandajuice
Title: The Power of Grayskull
Joined: Oct 30 2008
Location: US and UK
Posts: 2649
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| Ice2SeeYou wrote: |
| What if you have the legal right to donate her organs? Can you donate her vagina to yourself? |
This made me lol. Good show!
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
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| GPFontaine wrote: |
| sidewaydriver wrote: |
| As a registered sex offender, I can assure you that you cannot bang your wife while she is in a coma. That is why you must have her sign a document and get it notarized which says that in the event of a coma, you are allowed to have sex with her. You have to be very specific in the document though because if you don't list sodomy and you what what in her butt, you broke the law. |
The original question was unbelievably disturbing... but from a purely legal standpoint, I am curious to know what the legalities are if such a document happened to exist. |
None at all. You can't give it in advance.
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sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
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| GPFontaine wrote: |
| sidewaydriver wrote: |
| As a registered sex offender, I can assure you that you cannot bang your wife while she is in a coma. That is why you must have her sign a document and get it notarized which says that in the event of a coma, you are allowed to have sex with her. You have to be very specific in the document though because if you don't list sodomy and you what what in her butt, you broke the law. |
The original question was unbelievably disturbing... but from a purely legal standpoint, I am curious to know what the legalities are if such a document happened to exist. |
As a registered polygamist, I can assure you that 3 out of 4 of my wives have signed such a document. The document clearly states that in the event of a coma, they have granted me consent for any and all sexual activity. However, the contract is null and void if you are the one that puts them in a coma through a domestic violence incident.
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 Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom. |
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Alowishus
Joined: Aug 04 2009
Posts: 2515
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This is one of the funniest threads i've read in a while. Last one was the Black Zarak one ages ago.
Kudos to you all.
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Ky-Guy
Title: Obscure Nintendo Gamer
Joined: Jul 19 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1418
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I don't see why not, Syd. After all, you are married to her.
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| iPhone games are what you play when you can't get at actual games. You know, like how sometimes alcoholics drink mouthwash. |
| Lexiabot9000 wrote: |
| Your love life will be happy and harmonious if you stick to masturbating. |
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
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Okay, what about a woman? Can a woman legally have sex with her coma patient husband?
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Andrew Man
Title: Is a Funklord
Joined: Jan 30 2007
Location: Annandale, VA
Posts: 5603
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
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| UsaSatsui wrote: |
Oh, I know. If you want a woman that doesn't move in bed...well...you were already married...
Fuck it. |
Why does everyone assume that sex with a comatose woman would be missionary? As far as I'm concerned, first order of business would be cowgirl.
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Jack Slater
Title: Friendly Felon
Joined: May 17 2009
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 706
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Another question, why does everyone assume that being married means you stop having sex? I truly believe this is one of those things that the media has created, and that the simple minded conjure up in their own lives through some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm married, and I guarantee you I have more sex than most any single man. I don't have to go searching for it, or put on a show with dinner and a movie to get it either. It's there pretty much any time I want it, and I have no complaints. Got a great mother-in-law too, that's another one of those bullshit myths created by sitcoms that morons embrace.
About the only thing that I see impacting sex life is having a baby, but that's not from having a baby itself, it's due to pure exhaustion.
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Cause that's how I roll bounce. |
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
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| Jack Slater wrote: |
Another question, why does everyone assume that being married means you stop having sex? I truly believe this is one of those things that the media has created, and that the simple minded conjure up in their own lives through some kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm married, and I guarantee you I have more sex than most any single man. I don't have to go searching for it, or put on a show with dinner and a movie to get it either. It's there pretty much any time I want it, and I have no complaints. Got a great mother-in-law too, that's another one of those bullshit myths created by sitcoms that morons embrace.
About the only thing that I see impacting sex life is having a baby, but that's not from having a baby itself, it's due to pure exhaustion. |
It's so married people can watch, laugh, and then go fuck.
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GPFontaine
Joined: Dec 06 2007
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 11244
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ha ha ha ha...
I like where this thread has gone.
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Greg the White
Joined: Apr 09 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3112
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| UsaSatsui wrote: |
Oh, I know. If you want a woman that doesn't move in bed...well...you were already married...
Fuck it. |
Why does everyone assume that sex with a comatose woman would be missionary? As far as I'm concerned, first order of business would be cowgirl. |
Learn ventriloquism, and you can get her to talk dirty as well.
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So here's to you Mrs. Robinson. People love you more- oh, nevermind. |
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Hacker
Banned
Joined: Sep 13 2008
Posts: 3129
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| Greg the White wrote: |
| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| UsaSatsui wrote: |
Oh, I know. If you want a woman that doesn't move in bed...well...you were already married...
Fuck it. |
Why does everyone assume that sex with a comatose woman would be missionary? As far as I'm concerned, first order of business would be cowgirl. |
Learn ventriloquism, and you can get her to talk dirty as well. |
Would that turn it into masturbation?
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username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16135
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hmmm whats worse, fucking your dead wife or fucking your comatose wife?
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| Klimbatize wrote: |
| I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load |
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anorexorcist
Title: Polar Bear
Joined: May 21 2008
Location: The Cock and Plucket
Posts: 2131
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What if you knock your commatose wife up?
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Lawyers, Guns and Money |
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sidewaydriver
2010 SLF Tag Champ
Title: ( ͡� 
Joined: May 11 2008
Posts: 6160
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| anorexorcist wrote: |
| What if you knock your commatose wife up? |
You can throw her down the stairs and she'll never be the wiser.
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Shake it, Quake it, Space Kaboom. |
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Boonjovi
Title: Electric Sex Pants
Joined: Dec 30 2009
Posts: 199
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Take advice from the guy titled Electric Sex Pants and just do her. She gets knocked up you can just get out the coat hanger.
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"If you try to fix violence, with more violence, all you do is create violence" - Tom DeLonge. |
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@om*d
Title: Dorakyura
Joined: Jul 10 2010
Location: Castlevania
Posts: 4226
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Laws don't really matter if your wife is comatose, as long as you don't invite the family or some friends over to watch you sex her up. I mean, really... who is she going to tell? And if by some chance she wakes up, you can just knock her out. Then, when or if she comes to again and possibly asks you if you were having sex with her, you can just tell her she must have been dreaming while in the coma.
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Tomdincan
Title: Test Icicle
Joined: Oct 02 2010
Location: Temple Shalina
Posts: 450
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| atomjacked wrote: |
| Then, when or if she comes to again and possibly asks you if you were having sex with her, you can just tell her she must have been dreaming while in the coma. |
You could also express your everlasting devotion by telling her that you'd rather have sex with her while she's in a coma than even think about another woman.
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I'm not a psychopath. I'm a high-functioning sociopath. |
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UsaSatsui
Title: The White Rabbit
Joined: May 25 2008
Location: Hiding
Posts: 7565
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| anorexorcist wrote: |
| What if you knock your commatose wife up? |
You have a Law and Order: SVU episode.
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Syd Lexia
Site Admin
Title: Pop Culture Junkie
Joined: Jul 30 2005
Location: Wakefield, MA
Posts: 24887
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Actually, I believe it was regular Law & Order. And the girl's mom paid an orderly to impregnate her.
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Black Zarak
Title: Big Coffin Hunter
Joined: Feb 01 2006
Location: Phyrexia
Posts: 4098
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| UsaSatsui wrote: |
Oh, I know. If you want a woman that doesn't move in bed...well...you were already married...
Fuck it. |
Why does everyone assume that sex with a comatose woman would be missionary? As far as I'm concerned, first order of business would be cowgirl. |
This killed me, just imagining her rolling bonelessly around, hahahaha...
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REVIEWS, LEGOS, NONSENSE Check out Zarak's Barracks!
"Let that be a lesson to you, your family and everyone you've ever known..."
"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal!" |
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Thunderhorse
Title: This is DELICIOUS!
Joined: Dec 29 2009
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 1923
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| Syd Lexia wrote: |
| Actually, I believe it was regular Law & Order. And the girl's mom paid an orderly to impregnate her. |
Actually, Both!
| TV Tropes wrote: |
An episode of Law & Order deals with a woman who becomes pregnant... years after being put into a coma by a car accident. It's later revealed that her mother paid an orderly to rape her in order to produce a grandchild. The case gets... ugly.
A similar episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit had a woman in a coma pregnant. At first they thought it was this trope, but it turned out much worse. A dying man is having multiple women impregnated to harvest stem cells. Then he sues for custody.
Another L&O episode had these couples using drugs for sex. The wife would take something, which would knock her out, and then her husband would have sex with her unconscious form. |
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This Is Tuna With Bacon |
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Bob Dylan`s Blues
Title: Worlds Strongest Man
Joined: Jun 08 2011
Location: Your nightmares
Posts: 520
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Proof that television writers can be way more creepy than anyone on the sydlexia forums.
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