I think I'll hold off on this for awhile. I'm sure it'll be down to $20 soon, and I bet Gearbox will end up issuing some Sorry We Fucked Up So Bad patches.
The game just throws maybe two, three enemies max at a time, so there's none of the old-school Doom/Painkiller shooty fun
Painkiller certainly is quite old school.
As in it had the Doom/Quake/Triad-style of enemy murdering huge roomfuls of dudes.
So here's to you Mrs. Robinson. People love you more- oh, nevermind.
The Opponent
Title: Forum Battle WINNER
Joined: Feb 24 2010
Location: The Danger Zone
Posts: 3495
Posted:
Jun 17 2011 08:14 pm
My local news heard of this today. I'm surprised they caught onto it this quickly.
I'm not a bad enough dude, but I am an edgy little shit. I'll do what I can.
Adrock4
Title: Mostly Lurks, Now
Joined: Sep 13 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 427
Posted:
Jun 18 2011 08:16 am
Welp, I picked up my copy at the midnight release on Tuesday, and I have to say I absolutely love the shit out of the game. While it's not going to win any awards for innovation, that was never what the game set out to do.
However, the game is very well put together, The combat is solid, mindless fun, with it becoming pretty intense in the harder difficulties. I also really enjoyed the vehicle sections. It balanced between gunplay, platforming, and driving perfectly, so that you never get bored during your objective. There's some really good music (plus like a dozen versions of the Grabbag theme) and one-liners from Duke, too. And frankly, I don't give a rat's ass about the two-weapon limit. There are weapons fucking everywhere in the game. The only problem it poses is that it kind of hampers the exploration of the game (which is nowhere near as linear as people make it out to be; while there's only one exit to levels, you're rewarded more often than not for taking a look around or taking a right when you need to take a left). If I find a hidden goodie, I don't want to have to skip it because I want to hold onto my shotgun and Duke's gold M1911, pretty much wasting the secret. On a related note, the regenerative health is also fine; you still have to deliver the goods to stay alive (Especially in multiplayer, where the regen health works to the game's advantage really well; it serves only to get you back to 100% after a fight. There's no coming out of battles alive without killing someone, and no having to hunt for health afterward).
Speaking of which, the multiplayer is a clusterfuck in the best possible sense. Shit is ALWAYS going down, and more often than not, you're right in the middle of it. It's not the most balanced game in the world, but holy Christ is it a blast. There are some game variations called mutators (like Shotguns or Railguns only, Knuckle Sandwich which is fists/pipebombs/tripmines only, infinite ammo, etc) that keep things mixed up. Knuckle Sandwich and Capture the Babe makes for some good times. Since most of the servers are clientside (dedicated ones do exist, but not too many yet), there can be some lag, but most of the time I can just host one myself and have a good game with relatively low pings for the others. It reminds me a bit of Quake, just with a two-weapon limit, which works surprisingly well; there's no being stranded without a weapon because people can't just run around and pick up every single weapon.
I'm admittedly biased as all hell about this game, but I sincerely think this game doesn't deserve anything below a 7. Personally, I give it a 9.
Black Zarak
Title: Big Coffin Hunter
Joined: Feb 01 2006
Location: Phyrexia
Posts: 4098
Posted:
Jun 18 2011 10:04 pm
I'm not sure if reviewers everywhere are just fucking with me or if this game is really this ridiculous: Can you pick up pieces of shit and smear them on walls? And does it start with you getting head from the "Holsom" twins? If so, this is not a good game ever in a million years, I don't care if the rest of it is the key to immortality.
"Let that be a lesson to you, your family and everyone you've ever known..."
"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal!"
Slayer1
Title: ,,!,, for you know who
Joined: Sep 23 2008
Posts: 4274
Posted:
Jun 18 2011 10:33 pm
Black Zarak wrote:
I'm not sure if reviewers everywhere are just fucking with me or if this game is really this ridiculous: Can you pick up pieces of shit and smear them on walls? And does it start with you getting head from the "Holsom" twins? If so, this is not a good game ever in a million years, I don't care if the rest of it is the key to immortality.
The shit is like an Easter Egg: you don't need to pick it up and throw it, but you can find it within the opening level. There's no bonus to it and you don't need to find it for anything except for an achievement.
It doesn't start with you getting head from the twins, it starts off where Duke 3D ended, fighting the Cycloid Emperor. Then you cut to a scene where duke is playing X-Box (even on PS3 the controller is an X-Box 360) and getting head. But it isn't to expletive or anything. Just ooooo's and ahhh's and a gag.
Both shouldn't be a surprise though, the shit thing has been around since they started showing the "What would Duke Do?" videos on Youtube, and the Holsom Twins was in the PAX demo.
"Let that be a lesson to you, your family and everyone you've ever known..."
"Thanks to denial, I'm immortal!"
username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16135
Posted:
Jun 20 2011 12:16 am
lol thats the first thing i went for, the poo. since EVERYTHING is supposed to be interactive (its not) i wanted to know if the poo would move around or not
Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load
Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
Posted:
Jun 20 2011 02:33 am
Wow really?
Black Zarak
Title: Big Coffin Hunter
Joined: Feb 01 2006
Location: Phyrexia
Posts: 4098
Posted:
Jun 20 2011 11:46 am
From the reviews I've read, they should have spent more time making the levels and weapons more interesting and spent less time on rendering a piece of shit for you to play with...
From the reviews I've read, they should have spent more time making the levels and weapons more interesting and spent less time on rendering a piece of shit for you to play with...
lol the shit wasn't even well rendered hahaha.
username
Title: owner of a lonely heart
Joined: Jul 06 2007
Location: phoenix, az usa
Posts: 16135
Posted:
Jun 20 2011 07:22 pm
in fact, the rendering was quite shitty
Klimbatize wrote:
I'll eat a turkey sandwich while blowing my load
Adrock4
Title: Mostly Lurks, Now
Joined: Sep 13 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 427
Posted:
Jun 21 2011 01:06 am
username wrote:
in fact, the rendering was quite shitty
HAH
Well, it was rendered well enough to have a piece of corn in it.
Greg the White
Joined: Apr 09 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3112
Posted:
Jun 21 2011 06:37 am
Adrock4 wrote:
username wrote:
in fact, the rendering was quite shitty
HAH
Well, it was rendered well enough to have a piece of corn in it.
Debate over. Game of the Year.
So here's to you Mrs. Robinson. People love you more- oh, nevermind.
Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
Posted:
Jun 23 2011 06:18 am
Wow, oldschool Duke had a lot of immature content, but I don't remember shit jokes being a part of it.
Was feces just on their list of wants but not technically viable for that long? Did we wait 10+ years for shitplay?
Drew Linky
Wizard
Joined: Jun 12 2009
Posts: 4209
Posted:
Jun 23 2011 10:28 am
Blackout wrote:
Did we wait 10+ years for shitplay?
Lol, made me think of this (NSFW...?):
THIRTEEN YEARS
https://discord.gg/homestuck is where you can find me literally 99% of the time. Stop on by if you feel like it, we're a nice crowd.
Slayer1
Title: ,,!,, for you know who
Joined: Sep 23 2008
Posts: 4274
Posted:
Jun 23 2011 04:23 pm
Blackout wrote:
Wow, oldschool Duke had a lot of immature content, but I don't remember shit jokes being a part of it.
Was feces just on their list of wants but not technically viable for that long? Did we wait 10+ years for shitplay?
The shit only happens in the first level of the game. That's the only time it shows up, after that it's done. Though you still can take leaks in a urinals...
JoshWoodzy
Joined: May 22 2008
Location: Goshen, VA
Posts: 6544
Posted:
Jun 23 2011 10:04 pm
When you stepped on shit on the original Duke Nukem 3D, he would say "Shit happens".
Blackout
Title: Captain Oblivious
Joined: Sep 01 2007
Location: That Rainy State
Posts: 10376
Posted:
Jun 23 2011 10:13 pm
OK I've been playing it and it's pretty much exactly what I expected out of a Duke Nukem Game on the modern console, no more no less.
There's some pretty fun moments when the fights get hectic, and some aggravating moments trying to navigate to the next objective, just like the olds-school Duke.
Not a fan of the two weapon limit and the loading times can fuck right off, but other than those two complaints this is a decent mindless game, I'll admit the humor and take on women is not always my cup of tea, but I didn't really expect anything different from Duke. Anyone who did is kidding themselves.
*edit* In regard to the game being true to it's roots it even has the 3D Realms cut corner design philosophy in place, early levels are spit polished and have destructible cars for example, but when you encounter a truck in a non shooty portion of the map it's low res and completely un-damageable , posters look neat from afar and are pixelated messes when you close to see the detail. You can interact with almost everything giving the illusion of freedom but if you play it at any less the speed it was designed for (read breakneck balls to the wall) the levels cannot hide their linearity due to all the locked doors and NPCs that have two to three lines max and the intended effect falls flat.
In my opinion if you play it as it was intended, fast furious and fun you'll get a pretty faithful new Duke Nukem game, if you walk in to it with a fine tooth comb and critique every little thing by itself yeah you're not going to like it.
It's not rocket surgery people, it's first person shooter junk food. Enjoy it for what it is and if not go play Eve Online or something.
Although I have to admit at times the graphics are a little dated, but they have this weird overall polish to them, like someone stuck a brand new wrapper over a stale candy bar, it feels like I'm playing Doom 3 sometimes. (which was not a bad game in my opinion, it just shows it's age)
Also what is everyone up in arms about in regards to all the immaturity and machismo and poorly veiled misogyny?? It's hardly new territory for Duke Nukem, if they could have figured out how to animate him being blown back in the day you know they would have dome that fist. It's not supposed to be high class cerebral art you know!
I understand people not liking it because it's crude and tasteless etc, but I feel like I'm catching this undercurrent of "oh this is unacceptable in this day and age, we don't act this way here in the PC future" vibe, but no one had a problem with the low res 12 year old mentality of the original at least as far as I've seen, even in retrospect.
I'm seeing a lot of people bitching about how over the line the new DN is, but it seems they still consider the original a classic shooter. You cannot have your cake and eat it too, either Duke Nukem was always reprehensible, beyond childish, pile of wet trash in your mouth, catering to the lowest common denominator and you're the fucking Quaker Oat guy's grandfather, or it's stupid fun to be enjoyed by discerning adults who are rational enough to know the difference between right and wrong period point blank end of story.
It's not taking itself seriously and it's not out to change the world or win a fucking Grammy for classiest game of the year, in fact I think it's trying to be severely self referential and was an attempt to take the piss out of itself as a franchise.
