A Tribute To The Black Concert T-Shirt
A Tribute To The Black Concert T-Shirt
Sometimes, when I should be working on new articles for the site, I sit around and ponder the mysteries of the universe instead. There are many tough questions which plague mankind, but I find the question of God's existence to be the most intriguing one of all. Is there really a God? If so, is it the same God who inspired the Holy Bible? Maybe, maybe not; these are questions that every man must ultimately answer for himself. And regardless of that matter, the Bible has had an undeniable effect on the course of human history. What is particularly interesting about its influence is the selective way in which people choose to follow its teachings; some passages seem to carry more weight than others. For example, consider John 3:16, which is one of the most quoted passages in the Bible. John 3:16 reads thusly:
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.
The immense popularity of this line is really quite tragic; there are much better lines in the Bible. For example, if you were to read just one line further, you would stumble upon John 3:17, one of the most underrated and uplifting lines in the whole fucking book:
Also, He totally liked metal. God so loved metal that He gave us black concert t-shirts, that whosoever weareth one might impress passers-by.
OK, so it doesn't really say that. It should, but it doesn't. All this Bible talk has just been a cheap charade, one aimed at steering the conversation towards what I really wanted to talk about: rock concerts and the t-shirts that one can obtain at them. I was somewhat of a late bloomer when it came to concerts; I didn't attend my first real concert until my senior year of high school. Part of this was due to my financial situation. I was very active in several afterschool activities and as a result, my parents refused to let me get a job until my junior year. However, the bigger problem was my belief that concert tickets were 1) prohibitively expensive and 2) almost impossible to obtain. Suffice to say, these delusions were instilled in me by family-oriented sitcoms such as Blossom, Full House, and Charles In Charge. Thanks to that fucking bitch Mayim Bialik, I thought the only way to get concert tickets was by camping out overnight outside a Ticketmaster outlet or winning them through a radio contest. Oh, who I am kidding? I can't stay mad at Mayim Bialik. And Mayim, if you're reading this, I'd totally still do you. I know you're married and stuff, but I don't think that has to be a dealbreaker for either one of us. Just make sure you pick a hotel with soft lighting; you're not especially pretty in most other lighting situations. Also, please bring Jenna von Oy with you. Actually, why don't you just send her instead? Actually, how about her and Christine Lakin? I know you were on NBC and Christine was on ABC, but I figure maybe you still know each other somehow, perhaps maybe from one of those "Where Are They Now?" specials. If you don't, that's fine. So anyway, let's get back to whatever the hell I was talking about before I was distracted by Blossom-related sex fantasies. Oh right, band t-shirts. Since attending my first concert in 1999, I have amassed a nice collection of black concert tees. However, recently I have noticed that some of these shirts are a little worse for the wear. Multiple washings have faded the colors and cracked the lettering; some of them won't survive many more washings. And so, it is with a heavy heart that I have decided to retire some of my older concert t-shirts, so that I might one day look back upon them and smile. But before I pack these aging concert tees into an opaque plastic container and store them in a cool, dry area for the next 10-20 years , I figured I might as well do an article on them. So here it is. Behold my t-shirts!
The Concert: Ozzfest 2000
The Date: Sunday, July 30, 2000
Current Status: Retired
Ozzfest 2000 was my second Ozzfest, having attended Ozzfest '99 the year before. I really wish I had gotten it into my head to attend Ozzfest earlier in my life, as Ozzfest '97 and Ozzfest '98 were probably the best line-ups they ever had, particularly Ozzfest '98 which featured Ozzy, Tool, Megadeth, Motorhead, and Life of Agony. And while Ozzfest '99 was pretty damn awesome too, the official t-shirt was not. Thus, it wasn't until Ozzfest 2000 that I bought my first concert tee. Whereas the Ozzfest '99 shirt was goofy and ugly, the Ozzfest 2000 shirt had everything I had ever wanted in tour shirt. First of all, it had Satan. Secondly, it had the name of the event. Thirdly, it had a list of all the bands who played at the concert. If this had been a regular show, I would haved wanted a list of tour dates and/or locations; since it was a festival and they had to fit 21 band names on the shirt, I can forgive the lack of a tour itinerary. I've always wondered if I would have been as quick to buy this shirt if Diablo II hadn't come out 31 days prior. I'd like to think I would have. I would go on to attend one final Ozzfest, Ozzfest 2001. I didn't get the shirt for that show because the front was basically the same as the Ozzfest 2000 shirt, only this time Satan was flipping the bird. I like to own shirts that I can wear out in public, so I decided to pass on that one.
The Concert: Iron Maiden with Queensryche and Halford
The Date: Sunday, August 6, 2000
Current Status: Infrequent Rotation
One week after Ozzfest 2000, I attended my first Maiden concert... and it was glorious. Queensryche and Halford were there as well, and while their performances were equally fantastic, I didn't buy their shirts. As the frontman for Judas Priest, Rob Halford made a name for himself as one of the greatest metal vocalists of all time, a title he definitely deserves. Still, I didn't feel obligated to buy a shirt for his solo project. Walking around with a giant picture of Rob Halford on your chest is, well, kinda gay. I genuinely wanted to buy a Queensryche shirt, but as a support act, their merchandise was limited to a plain black shirt that had their logo and the words "GOT RYCHE?" on the front and had the tour dates on the back. Somehow, I felt that a shirt with an already dated joke based on a dairy commercial wasn't something I needed to own; I'm pretty sure I made the right call. Since I wasn't getting a Queensryche shirt, I decided to go all out and get the super special Maiden shirt that commemorated the specific concert I went to. It was only $5 more than a regular tour shirt, and it was far more awesome. Any shirt that features Eddie playing to crowd of monsters is OK in my book, especially when said shirt depicts me as a rock monster.
Useless trivia: Despite what the shirt says, the concert was actually in Mansfield, which is roughly 30 miles from Boston.
The Concert: Maximum Rock Tour - Motley Crue and Megadeth
The Date: Wednesday, August 9, 2000
Current Status: Retired
The tail end of the summer of 2000 rocked pretty hard for me. Three days after Iron Maiden, I went to ANOTHER concert: Maximum Rock 2000. For anyone who doesn't remember, Maximum Rock was a short-lived annual concert series headlined by Motley Crue. It only had two outings, one in '99 where they shared a bill with the Scorpions and one in 2000 where they toured with Megadeth. Seeing the success that Poison had with their annual hair metal package tour, Crue hoped to capitalize by creating a similar tour with a harder edge. Unfortunately, it was an ill-fated venture. Despite what Nikki Sixx may have wanted to believe, The Crue and Megadeth don't have that many mutual fans, certainly not as many as Poison, Warrant, and Quiet Riot. As a result, sales fell short of expectations. But as a disciple of all things 80s, I found it to be the perfect tour. I got to see two of my all-time favorite bands in one convenient package, with the only real downside being that Tommy Lee wasn't in the band at this point. If you've been paying attention, you probably noticed that Anthrax is listed on the back of the tour shirt as well. Sadly, they were dropped from the tour after a few dates. When sales weren't up to par, Motley Crue was forced to cut costs and Anthrax was dismissed from the tour. This was a disappointing move to be sure, especially when they could have cut some pyrotechnics instead, but the show was great nonetheless. I also liked the fact that the tour itself had an official shirt; too often you go to shows and each band is selling its own shirts instead of a mutual one.
The Concert: Alice Cooper
The Date: Sunday, October 8, 2000
Current Status: Retired
Alice Cooper fucking rules. His concert fucking ruled. His t-shirt fucking rules, especially since it reminds me of Smoke's fatality from MK3. And that's really all you need to know, other than he did indeed perform "Feed My Frankenstein". All hail Alice!
The Concert: Aerosmith with Fuel
The Date: Tuesday, June 26, 2001
Current Status: Retired
Being from Boston, I have wanted to see Aerosmith forever. In 2001, I finally got my wish. As far as the shirt goes, I wish they would have picked a slightly more legible font for the tour itinerary. I know it's supposed to look all classy and stuff, but somehow I don't think the band that recorded songs like "Big Ten Inch Record", "Pink", and "Lord of the Thighs" has any business pretending they're classy. I like how Tom Hamilton is barely in the group photo. It's almost as if the other guys were about to take the picture without him and then he suddenly showed up and accidentally ended up in the shot. You know, like when you're trying to take a picture at Disney World and then some douchebag walks in front of the camera. God, I hate people like that.
The Concert: Guns N' Roses with Mix Master Mike and CKY
The Date: Monday, December 2, 2002
Current Status: Retired
By 2002, I had seen a lot of the bands I had really wanted to see in concert, bands such as Black Sabbath, Rob Zombie, Marilyn Manson, Iron Maiden, Aerosmith, and Motley Crue. Meanwhile, other top choices such as AC/DC and the Rolling Stones still eluded me. In 2002, I finally got the chance to see one of my absolute favorite bands in concert: Guns N' Fucking Roses. Sure, Axl was the only original member still in the band, but it was close to the real thing as I was ever going to get. Besides, Axl is by far the most interesting member of the original band. This tour was to be the start of Axl's final push towards his fabled Chinese Democracy album, a winter tour followed by a summer release. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. The tour fell apart about halfway through and the album never materialized. Of course, I had no way of knowing that on that cold December night back in 2002. With my ticket in hand, I showed up at the Fleetcenter and hoped that Axl would do the same; he did. Say what you will about Axl and his inability to release a goddam album, but he put on a great show that night, well worth the $250 I ended up paying for tickets. That was my own fault; I ordered four tickets thinking it wouldn't be too hard to find three other people to go with me. When the show sold out in 8 minutes, I figured I'd have no problem finding buyers. Unfortunately, no one else I knew shared my unquestioning dedication to Axl Rose and the seats weren't good enough to garner any interest on eBay. In the end, I wound up trading my four crappy seats to a scalper for two great seats thus ensuring a much better concert experience for my brother and I. As we entered the venue, I was still pretty annoyed that my naiveté had wound up costing me so much money, but not so annoyed that I wouldn't drop money on a Guns N' Roses tour shirt, even one as bland as the shirt you see above. Hell, if I had my way, my wardrobe would consist of nothing but Guns N' Roses shirts. Oh, and pants. There'd definitely be pants involved.
The Concert: Guns N' Roses with Mix Master Mike and CKY
The Date: Monday, December 2, 2002
Current Status: Retired
Since Axl is rather unreliable when it comes to actually showing up for his concerts, I figured I'd stock up on GN'R tour shirts, and by stock up, I mean I bought two. This shirt is kind of tacky... You've got a Chinese dragon humping the world and there's blood everywhere, like the dragon just took its virginity or something. I actually like this shirt (I wouldn't have fucking bought it if I didn't), but it has not held up well over the years. The graphics were done in a fairly heavy paint, so multiple washings were quick to crack them. In particular, take a look at the world; it is in a very sorry state indeed. Hey, it's a t-shirt and a social commentary! Neat! Sadly, that doesn't change the fact that I have to retire it.
The Concert: Queensryche and Dream Theater with Fates Warning
The Date: Wednesday, July 9, 2003
Current Status: Active
Every musical genre has subgenres and metal is not the exception. One of the most underrated and strikingly complex metal subgenres is progressive metal. Bands like Savatage and Queensryche mixed metal sensibilities with influences such as King Crimson, The Who and Pink Floyd to create some of the greatest concept albums ever made. In 2003, I had the chance to see a veritable progressive metal superbill: Fates Warning, Dream Theater, and Queensryche. To anyone unfamiliar with any of these bands, I strongly recommend obtaining Dream Theater's Images and Words and Queensryche's Operation: Mindcrime. To make a long story short, it was an amazing show, culminating with a finale of "Won't Get Fooled Again" featuring both Queensryche and Dream Theater. Dream Theater's tour shirt is not actually a t-shirt and probably shouldn't be featured in this article, but it's my site, so fuck you. Still, I have to wonder why the band's official shirt on a summer tour had long sleeves; this is one of life's greatest mysteries. I really enjoy the design on the front of this shirt, because it vaguely reminds me of the Starfleet logo from The Next Generation. Yeah... I'm a dork.
The Concert: Queensryche and Dream Theater
The Date: Wednesday, July 9, 2003
Current Status: Active
Having previously decided against procuring a Queensryche shirt in 2000, I was hellbent on getting one this time around, no matter how mediocre it was. This time around, their shirts were much less retarded. I opted to get one with with a gold Queensryche logo on the front and the tour itinerary on the back. Plain? Absolutely. But it gets the point across, the point being that I likes me some Queensryche.
The Concert: Iron Maiden with Dio and Motorhead
The Date: Monday, July 21, 2003
Current Status: Active
The second Maiden concert was just as good as the first, and possibly better. I must have been rather short on cash when I went to this show, because I only ended up with a Maiden shirt. That's the only possible explanation I can think of as to why I don't have Dio and Motorhead shirts as well. As I recall, both bands had some pretty badass looking merchandise available. Besides, as a fan of real metal, it's my fucking DUTY to own a Dio shirt. Any way, this shirt is nothing special. Like 99% of all Maiden-related things, it has Eddie on it. This isn't so much a great tour shirt as it is a great reminder of an amazing show.
The Concert: Def Leppard
The Date: Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Current Status: Retired
Seeing older bands in concert is always risky; singers often lose their voices as they age. When you go see an 80s rock band, especially a band that used a lot production effects on their albums like Def Leppard, there's a pretty decent chance that they're going to sound like complete shit. Still, I love Def Leppard amid I felt it was necessary to take that chance. Luckily, they were fucking awesome. As of 2003, Joe Elliott still fucking rules. Honestly, I was kind of surprised at just how good Def Leppard was without benefit of Mutt Lange's studio wizardry. Another thing that surprised me was the crowd reaction. Crowd reaction can make or break a concert, and it really sucks being at a show where everyone is sitting down and drinking beer because they're too old and too tired to rock. This is more likely to happen when most of the audience is comprised of people in their 30s and 40s, but I saw it happen to a lot of mainstage Ozzfest bands who deserved better, most notably Black Label Society. But I don't think I've ever been a part of crowd that was as fucking psyched as those Def Leppard fans. Honestly, I expected to be one of the few guys there as well as one of the youngest concert-goers in a sea of bored 40-year-old soccer moms. But there were all kinds there, males and females from ages 14 to 40. Of course, the fact that it was Leppard's first US tour since the mid-90s probably helped things. As for the tour shirt, it's pretty decent. It has a recent photo of the band, the tour itinerary, and the band's name in the trademark Def Leppard font. It also has the "X" from the rather uncreative cover of the band's rather mediocre tenth album, but let's not talk about that.
The Concert: ???
The Date: Eyepatch Disaster
Current Status: ANGRY
This was my most prized concert shirt until someone pointed out to me that it wasn't actually a t-shirt and pleaded with me to stop tying it to my bare chest. And while I eventually came to the realization that the former was true, I saw no reason to stop the latter. Sagat is the baddest motherfucker in the entire Street Fighter universe and when you walk around with his likeness on your stomach, it lets people know that you're a bad motherfucker too. When you have Sagat on your team, no one will dare to stand in your way. Still, it doesn't hurt if you yell "TIGER!" a lot too, just in case.
The Concert: Aerosmith and KISS with Saliva
The Date: Monday, August 25, 2003
Current Status: Active
Aerosmith and KISS on a co-headlining tour? Fuck yeah! This was my first KISS concert and it was pretty much everything I hoped it would be: fire, blood, pyrotechnics, and a lot of good ol' fashioned rock n' roll. Gene Simmons may be a greedy Jewish stereotype offstage, but onstage he's the motherfuckin' God of Thunder. KISS was great, but Aerosmith's performance was marred by several factors. First, there was a group of fat drunken middle-aged idiots in front of me who wouldn't stop dancing and singing along with every goddam song. Second, Aerosmith's pacing was odd. In the middle of their set, they did a half hour of blues songs from their then-unreleased cover album Honkin' On Bobo. The songs were great, it's kinda weird going from rock to the blues and then back to rock; you have to get the crowd pumped up all over again. It would made more sense to close with the blue set and then come back for a rockin' encore. But hey, whatever. By that point, I didn't really care what Aerosmith was playing anyway because I seriously wanted to murder the people standing in front of me. Maybe some day I'll be track them down and end their worthless lives. Then again, they're not worth going to jail over.
The Concert: KISS and Poison
The Date: Friday, July 16, 2004
Current Status: Active
After seeing KISS and Aerosmith, I didn't go to any concerts for a while. Then I heard that KISS was touring again, and I debated getting tickets. Then I heard they were touring with Poison and that sealed the deal. As the opener, Poison was not allowed to have anywhere close to the amount of pyrotechnics they had back in their glory day, so they were forced to rely on the merits of their music to entertain the crowd. And while this story has the potential to end badly, it doesn't. Poison fucking ruled. My Poison tour shirt, on the other hand, is a little bit iffy. I have no idea what the fuck is up with the back of this shirt. Yeah, I know it's a skull and crossbones like one might find on a bottle of liquid not safe for human consumption or "poison" as one might call it, but I still don't understand why it's garish. It reminds me of Aztec art, a style which I have always loathed. The front of the shirt's not bad though, other than the fact that Bret Michaels is wearing a wife beater and do-rag. You're not fucking Fifty Cent, you're the guy who sang "Unskinny Bop", get over it. Poison isn't about looking tough, it's about crying tough. Whatever that means.
The Concert: KISS and Poison
The Date: Friday, July 16, 2004
Current Status: Active
Nothing says "I saw KISS live" quite like a shirt with a picture of Gene, Paul, and two session players on the front and a tour itinerary on the back. The lightning is a nice touch too. Also, isn't it a little weird that a tour called Rock The Nation would have stops in three different countries? Maybe they should have called it Rock The Nations. Pay Up, Or Gene Will Fire Paul Too would have been a good name too.
The Concert: Motley Crue
The Date: Saturday, March 5, 2005
Current Status: Active
In 2005, a fully reunited Motley Crue went out on tour to promote the latest of about seven million different greatest hits compilations released on their behalf. The show was absolutely amazing, filled with all the pomp and circumstance that a good rock spectacle should have. Their tour shirts, on the other hand, were far from spectacular. I bought one anyway though.
The Concert: Motley Crue
The Date: Saturday, March 5, 2005
Current Status: Active
Actually, I bought TWO Crue t-shirts when I saw them in '05... I guess I was in a particularly spendthrift mood that night. Not only did I buy a pair of fairly generic tour shirts, I got a ridiculous foam finger as well. Why did I buy so much Crue junk? Easy, because they're one of my favorite American rock bands and I felt that it was my duty to inform others of The Way of the Crue and spread their teachings to the masses. After much malice of forethought, I decided that wearing a Crue shirt was the best way to do accomplish those goals.
The Concert: The Rolling Stones
The Date: Friday, January 13, 2006
Current Status: Active
Long before I started going to concerts, I decided I wanted to see The Rolling Stones live. But every time they'd come around, tickets would be relatively expensive and they'd sell out pretty quickly. With each passing year and passing tour, it became more and more likely the Stones would retire. And every time they announced a new tour, I'd breathe a sigh of relief; there was still the fleeting hope that I might see them. In 2005, the Stones came through my state and left, but I made no attempt to see them. But before 2005 was over, I would finally secure Stones tickets. As the year drew to a close, the Stones announced another leg of their Bigger Bang tour, a leg with shows in several major American cities including one at the TD Banknorth Garden in my beloved Boston on January 13, 2006. It was at this point that I decided I was going to see the Stones. So I logged on to Ticketmaster during the internet presale and bought the best tickets available: a pair of surprisingly expensive and rather shitty balcony seats. The seats were about as far back as you could possibly be, but I didn't care. Why would I care? I was going to see THE MOTHERFUCKING ROLLING STONES, the fountainhead from which all other great rock bands had sprung. But as fate would have it, I wouldn't have to sit in those shitty seats for very long. Being somewhat of an anxious person, I convinced my favorite partner, my brother, that we should get to the Garden early. This move will go down in history as The Best Decision That Syd Ever Made, the reason being that when we got there, the event staff were issuing new tickets to those of us in the nosebleed section who had come in early. Apparently many of the most expensive seats had not been made available during the presale and had not ended up selling. As a result, we ended up with phenomenal seats. From my new seat, I could have taken off my shoe and beaned Keith Richards in the head with it at any given point during the concert. I had no intention whatsoever of doing this, but knowing that I could was pretty fucking badass. And the show was great. Despite being over 2000 years old, Jagger and the boys can still rock pretty hard. The shirt I got is kinda meh, but it's also a badge of honor; it's hard proof that I saw the greatest rock band that ever lived.
The Concert: Poison with Cinderella
The Date: Saturday, August 5, 2006
Current Status: Active
I hadn't really been planning to see Cinderella and Poison in the summer of 2006, but LiveNation sent me a free ticket, so off I went. I knew Poison would be good and I was hoping Cinderella would be too. Back when I used to frequent Metal Sludge, I heard nothing but good things about Cinderella, they were supposedly one of the few 80s bands who still put on a good show and didn't sound like ass. Unfortunately, this was not a great night for them. The band was tight, but Tom Keifer sounded pretty hoarse. He got better as the night went on, but he butchered a few of my favorite Cinderella songs, most notably "Shelter Me". It also didn't help that the crowd was mainly there for Poison and refused to give the band the respect they deserved. Despite the somewhat disappointing performance, I absolutely love my Cinderella shirt. Look at the damn thing, it's a skull, swords, and a bald eagle; it might as well be the Fox News logo. This shirt proves that there's nothing more American than rock n' roll... even when your band is named after a girl.
The Concert: Poison with Cinderella
The Date: Saturday, August 5, 2006
Current Status: Active
If you've seen one 21st century Poison show, you've seen them all. No, seriously; Poison plays almost exactly the same set of their greatest hits in exactly the same single time. And yet, they never cease to entertain me. They put on a high energy show and their hits are good enough that I don't mind hearing them time and time again. This shirt was actually my second choice, the vendor was out of the black and white Look What The Cat Dragged In shirt I wanted. I like how Bobbie Dahl, the band's bass player, looks completely unhappy to the be there. Bret's smiling, C.C. and Rikki are rocking out, but Bobby's frowning. Maybe he's upset that the others all get more pussy than him. That, or he's trying to look tough.
The Concert: Roger Waters
The Date: Friday, September 8, 2006
Current Status: Active
While I loves me some heavy metal, I am first and foremost a huge Pink Floyd fan. Due to cruelties of fate, I have never had the chance to attend a Floyd concert. Floyd last toured the United States in the spring of 1994, but it wasn't until fall of that year that I truly began to understand their awesomeness. Even if I had got turned on to Floyd earlier, it wouldn't have made any real difference; I was only 13 when The Division Bell tour came around and there was absolutely no way my parents would have let me go to a concert where such a strong drug culture would have inevitably been present. After the Live 8 concert, reunion rumors swirled and I thought that maybe I'd finally get to see Floyd live. Sadly, it never happened. Then I heard that Roger Waters was touring and that he was going to be playing Dark Side of the Moon in its entirety as part of his set. Knowing that this was probably the closest thing that I'd ever get to a genuine Floyd experience, I jumped the chance. I actually had to miss the rehearsal dinner for my friend's wedding to attend this show, but in my defense, I didn't know that when I bought the tickets. Luckily, my friend was very understanding and the concert was totally worth it. Aside from an incredibly shitty drum solo on "Time", it was pretty much everything I ever could have wanted in a Floyd concert. You know, besides Gilmour, Wright, Mason and a complete lack of Roger Waters' solo material. But since it was a Roger solo show, these other things were to be expected. As you can see, the tour shirt that I decided on doesn't have the cities on the back, just a list of countries. This is because the tour shirt with the cities on it sucked hardcore. The front was just the classic Dark Side prism with wavy white lines coming out of it instead of the visible light spectrum. Since I have an ACTUAL Dark Side shirt, I opted to get the tour shirt that looked like it had some real effort put into its design. The sixteen circles on the front of the shirt all feature various images used in the cinematics shown during Roger's performance of the album, in chronological order: the blue clocks are from "Time", the green spinning record is from "Money", and you can figure the rest out on your own. Here's a bigger version to help you out.
The Concert: Aerosmith and Motley Crue
The Date: Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Current Status: Damaged - Needs To Be Patched
When I first heard that Motley Crue and Aerosmith were touring together, I knew I had to go. I had seen both bands twice before, and the chance to see both of them on the same bill was too fucking awesome to pass up. Sadly, this was not a good night for the Crue. Vince had blown out his voice a few nights prior, and he couldn't hit any of the high notes. Thankfully, he didn't try either. Vince also had the decency to acknowledge he sounded awful and he apologized several times during the night for it. Sure, it didn't make the show any better, but it was a nice gesture. Also, did I really need another Crue shirt? Probably not. But as you should have learned by now, I can't walk away from a concert without a shirt. Besides, it has a cool Stephen Gammell vibe to it.
The Concert: Aerosmith and Motley Crue
The Date: Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Current Status: Active
Another Aerosmith show, another shirt. Aerosmith always sounds good, but they sounded especially good on this night, in part due to throat surgery that Steven Tyler had recently undergone. Bassist Tom Hamilton, who appears on the shirt, played very few dates on the tour due to cancer treatment. Of course, that didn't stop him from making an appearance at the Boston show. After a few songs, Steven Tyler introduced Tom and the crowd went absolutely apeshit. He talked about his ongoing treatment, played "Sweet Emotion" with the band, and then retreated, letting former Joe Perry Project bassist David Hull play the majority of the show. This is my favorite out of all my tour shirts because there's a hot chick smoking a cigarette on the back. When I saw her, I realized that all hot chicks probably smoke and that if I want to impress hot chicks, I should probably smoke too. So I do. My personal best so far is five packs of Camel Lights in one day. Sadly, I still haven't met any scantily women through my smoking. I guess I'm not smoking enough...
The Concert: Iron Maiden
The Date: Friday, October 6, 2006
Current Status: Active
This is my favorite Maiden tour shirt, but sadly it comes from my least favorite Maiden show. When my friend Chris called me up and asked if I wanted to go see Maiden a third time, my answer was short - fuck yeah! Unfortunately, the Maiden concert I saw on that unseasonably warm October night was not the type of Maiden concert I was hoping for. The other two times I saw Maiden, they brought classic metal acts out with them, guys like Ronnie James Dio and Rob Halford. This time around, they brought out some lameass bunch of jabronis who sucked so bad that they didn't even get their name on the ticket. But that wasn't the main problem. No, I gladly would have sat through four shitty bands for a good Maiden show... but this wasn't one. You see, when a band reaches a certain level of longevity, certain things are expected of them by the fans. Perhaps the most basic of these expectations is the one that the band will go heavy on the classic songs and light on the material; as you've probably guessed, Iron Maiden did not do this. Instead, fans were treated to the band's latest album, A Matter of Life and Death in its entirety, followed by only a scant collection of their hits. At the time of the concert, the album had barely been out a month. Perhaps if I had bought the album the day it came out and intimately familiarized myself with the material, I would have enjoyed the concert more. But I shouldn't have had to do that, because no band that old should be so arrogant as to think their new material surpasses the old; it simply doesn't happen. If that sounds harsh, it is, but it's also true. Besides, Maiden didn't even fucking play "The Number of the Beast", so fuck 'em. But the shirt is cool.
And on that somewhat bitter note, it's time to end this article. I know this isn't really the typical nostalgia type article I normally do, but since most of the bands I've seen live rose to prominence in the 80s, I figured it was close enough. If you didn't like it, no worries; I promise you'll never have to suffer through another article about my concert shirts. No, next time it'll be ticket stubs. Mwa ha ha ha ha!
Just kidding, I'll do another damn video game article. Excuse me for trying to bring you some diversity.
Posted by: Syd Lexia
03/22/07
